Category Archives: FamFam

Belated Cruise

Posted on by
4

Before my father died he wanted to take one last vacation with the family.  Unfortunately he died just a few days before we were supposed to leave.  So this year, during school vacation, my family and I decided to take our “Last Cruise” as a family of four.  Like the slightly morbid and irreverent family we are, we decided that everyone should go—so we brought Dad.  He is small and doesn’t take up much room, so we didn’t have to buy him a ticket. We did bury some of him next to my brother, but he was a wanderer and explorer, so we wanted to honor that too.

So the whole family went on a cruise, and we had a great time.  It was really special to just be together, with no distractions or work.   We didn’t take too many photos because we were just having so much fun!

We were active most of the trip, trying to avoid the consequences of the open buffet!  Mom and I jogged each morning, and twice we climbed the Rock Wall.  The first time my mother didn’t make it to the top, so she dragged us back the next day and she rocked it! (Bad pun intended!  Sorry!)  She made it all the way to the top and rang the bell!

P1010279

Doing it another time allowed me to try the harder path the second time around.

P1010286

Elliot and I had lots of sib bonding time.  Though I kept getting the evil eye from the single girls because they thought we were a couple.  Apparently we don’t look alike as much as we did when we were young!

(Example A: Stone Cold Fox)

P1010257

Elliot had picked out a shore excursion in Cozumel Mexico that included ATVs and wild animals.  I was a little wary at first, but we had a lot of fun.

Blog1

They were raising money for conservation efforts and we were able to meet some of the species they were trying to help.

Blog3

Blog2

In Cozumel, I passed a store named “Deniz”  and HAD to stop in.  Of course, the owner was Turkish.  He had moved to Mexico five years ago.  He thought his path in life was set, he was in his fifties and had never been married.  But, as it happens, he fell in love with the woman he hired to help run his store.  They married a couple years ago–he is 60,she is 35, and they have the most beautiful baby, named Deniz!  So I got to practice my Turkish, and he was excited to speak it.

All

It was a lovely trip, which sounds a little like bragging after hearing about that cruise ship that had to be towed in from sea while the passenger reenacted Lord of the Flies.   It was a vacation, and a time to let go and say good bye.  As I mentioned previously, we had brought some of my father’s ashes with us.  We used this time to scatter his ashes around the Caribbean Sea.  We thought he would enjoy it as a (partial) final resting place.  So we returned to NH with one less corporeal family member, but some good memories of all four of us on vacation.

The Things He Was

Posted on by
4

One year ago today, my father died.  I could lament all the things he will miss. (Weddings, Grandchildren, and General Awesomeness)

034

However, I feel this day deserves a celebration, because my father was truly amazing.

For starters, he had some good stories.  The first time I was going to bring Bülent  home, we had to take down the twin bed in my room and set up the old double he and my mom used to share.  Apparently he bought it in the sixties and I was treated to the entire history of the bedframe.  Which I suppose was only fair as I only set it up to share it with my BF.

Also he started the Wellesley Fuck Truck, oh, I mean the Cuddle Shuttle.  When my father went to Brown in the 60’s he took some time off.  In that time he chartered (and drove) a bus between Wellesley (all women’s school I went to) and Harvard, MIT and Dartmouth (all men’s at the time).  When he stopped driving the bus and returned to Brown, the student body at my school demanded a  replacement bus from the administration.  I was also slightly wary introducing myself to alumnae from the 60’s and 70’s should they remember my last name, via my dad. 

danJag

He was awesome with kids.  Seriously.  He rocked the 2-10 age group like a rock star.  Reading stories, finding age appropriate activities on-line. 

Dude rocked the babies 

Dad soph

He was a feminist.  My body was my decision from way back.

He was a family man.  I never doubted his devotion to us as a family.  He would love nothing more than spending time with us.

He was a reader and lover of books.  Both my parents instilled this in me.  There is still nothing more exciting than opening the first pages of a new book.

P7130926 - Copy

He had strong hands for a computer guy.  Often his knuckles were bleeding from some home improvement project, but he never noticed it unless one of us told him. 

He talked to everyone and anyone, often creating friendships and bonds with strangers who entered his life. 

He swore like a sailor when appropriate.

He was a fighter.  Life couldn’t have been easy.  There have been tragedies and triumphs.  He was diagnosed with cancer back in 1998.  He fought with a vengeance.  Our family, and those who know us were able to appreciate that time we had.  Of course we wish for more, who doesn’t?  No one wishes they had less time with their beloved family members.  I am glad I had the time I did and the memories I had.  I have learned many things from my father, raunchy jokes and tragedy included, and am glad for everything I had.  Every movement of it. 

Dad

Hoşgeldiniz to 2013

Posted on by
1

Welcome to the New Year!  I hope everyone had safe and happy New Years celebrations.  Bülent and I have been so busy lately that we welcomed the New Year from bed, where we had been snuggling and watching movies.  It worked for me!  Start the New Year as you mean to continue right?  I am sure many people are thinking about New Year Resolutions and how to make changes.  I think I am just going to continue the journey I started several months ago, trying to appreciate the good, and live a more balanced life.

It has been a difficult year.  This day last year I was packing my bags to go back to the U.S.  I  had taken a leave of absence due to my father’s health and was supposed to head back at the end of the semester in late January.  I had spoken to my family a couple of days before and I had decided to change my plane ticket on December 30.  It was expensive to change a ticket two days before the flight, but it was the best decision I ever made.  My father’s funeral was on the original date in January on which I was supposed to arrive. 

I had taken the semester off and my school had hired someone to take my place, so I stayed in N.H., grieving and healing with my family.  It was difficult to be separated from my husband for six months, but has changed our relationship for the better.  We are stronger and more united, we know there is nothing we wouldn’t do to help the other…been there, done that.  We have now had bad and trying times and just love each other more for our individual responses to them. 

My time in the U.S. last year was very precious to me.  It allowed me to spend time with my mother while she needed me, and while I needed her.  I was able to get to know my brother as the man he is now, as opposed to the boy he was when I left.  I was also able to get to know his long time girlfriend, who is as lovely inside as she is out.  I went to my college roommate’s wedding and celebrated her happiness with her, and our college friends, some of whom I haven’t seen in five years.   I drove from Texas to New Hampshire, meeting Bülent’s dearest old friends, and visiting mine along the way.   I also went to BlogHer ‘12!

My oldest and dearest friend made me an Auntie—albeit in a terrifying way.  Due to her daughter’s insistence to make a (extremely early) entrance I was able to meet her in the NICU before I came back to Turkey.  

Health wise: Bülent and I went vegetarian (almost six months now) and I joined a gym a few months ago.  The breast lumps have been vanquished—well not vanquished but at least identified as benign.  To top it all off, our dog, Butterfinger, is not letting cataracts get her down.   

The year has been challenging and rewarding.  I am hoping that this next year will be easier, because we kind of need a break.  But we are starting the year off right.  Last year my dad wanted to take our family on a last vacation, a cruise, due to his limited mobility, but he died before we were able.  

Well, we are taking that fucking cruise.  Come January break, my mom, brother and I are going to go.  We are going to celebrate what was, what is and what is to come, because that is what life is all about.  So 2013—bring it on!

Another Flat Jules Sighting!

Posted on by
3

Every year there is a 5k race at our town’s Old Home Day. When I went home in June my mom asked me if we could  train for it and run it together. We thought it was going to be in early August. Unfortunately, the race took place after I left for Turkey. My mother and I still trained for it all summer. My mother rocked that race and ran it in a little over 30 minutes. While I was not there in person, I supported her by doing my own 5k run in Marmaris that day.  I was a little disappointed to not make the race with her.

However, my Dad had a great idea… Flat Jules also made an appearance! After the Wellesley Reunion, my BFF from college mailed her to me, signed by all of my friends.  So my parents cajoled Flat Jules down from her room in the attic for some photos with my mom after the race.

DSC_0849

My mom graciously shared her race number with Flat Jules!

DSC_0854

While we did not run the race together, we did have a great time training together this summer.  It also gave me a great new outlet for stress and a new hobby.  I have run almost every day since I have returned to Turkey, around the track in Ankara and by the sea in Marmaris.   Maybe next year we will do another 5k together!

Camping in Maine

Posted on by
2

A few weekends ago I went camping in York, ME.  As a kid we always used to go camping on the Maine Coast or up in Canada.  Many of my best childhood memories are tied up with swimming in the icy cold water, sitting around campfires and hunkering down in the pop-up with my family.

2011 Summer 069

So when my family had a chance to go a few weekends ago, despite my father’s illness and chemotherapy regimen, we all jumped at he chance.  We drank beer, played scrabble, listened to the ocean and hunkered down in the camper while a magnificent thunder storm rumbled and dumped rain on us.  2011 Summer 060

When you grow up some things change, or become more complicated.   Heartbreak can no longer be cured with a kiss and a cookie.  But then again, some things never change.  Icy water+Camper+ Family = Always a blast!

2011 Summer 068

Summer BBQ

Posted on by
1

I LOVE food.  ALL FOOD.  As my husband will attest while shuddering with repulsion and distaste, I will eat anything.  I will try anything once or twice (sometimes you need more than one tasting.)  I have no prejudice when it comes to food and will eat it mild or spicy, hot or cold, offal or vegetarian.   Seriously.  One of my favorite foods in TR is Kokoreç—lamb intestines…YUM!

But, there are some things that I miss.  Like tender, fresh, native summer corn and  Pork, Pork, Pork, Ham and Bacon…

While my husband was here we had a lovely barbeque, including some of my favorite things that I missed the most.

051

Sweet NH Native Corn…

053

Salad of Field Greens picked from Mom’s Garden

054

Homemade Potato Salad

055

Hotdogs, Hot and Sweet Pork Sausages

056

YUM!

Fun Times with the FamFam

058

Chemotastic!

Posted on by
3

This week we are back on chemo–Dad’s third round. While he does have some side effects and major fatigue he is in a pretty good spirits. When I came back he warned me that sometimes when he doesn’t feel well he is a ornery bastard (his terminology might have been just “cranky.”)  However, lucky for all of us he has been pretty chipper and not so cranky, though we would have overlooked it if he had been curmudgeonly.   His taste buds have  been slightly altered so we have been plying him with ice cream—so that have helped too!

Recently, we had some good news.  Apparently our darling SOB has started down the lovely path of telling Cancer to “F*ck Off!”  His nasty, fancy, rare tumor is starting to shrink significantly.  We just need it to keep doing so and his prognosis will alter dramatically.  Honestly, I think he is too stubborn for this bitch of a tumor to beat him.

I can hardly believe I have been home for more than three weeks. Alas it is true. On Sunday I drove down to Massachusetts with Bulent and dropped him off at the airport. We won’t see each other in person for a month. I will be exhausted by the time I get to Turkey. The problem is, I don’t sleep very well by myself. I am kind of like a toddler in that I talk myself to sleep–but I prefer an audience. Plus… I like to snuggle. My parents’ dog is too big and skittish to sleep with and the cat used to be feral and is not super cuddly. It likes to love you from a distance and on its own terms.  My brother will let me hold his hand during scary movies, but we are a little too old to cuddle.  Anyway he has a gorgeous girlfriend who he would prefer to snuggle with anyway.

So life in NH is going smoothly and without crisis.  Plus, the neighbors are still spoiling us with yummy soups and dishes like Pad Thai!  I may no longer be in the city or “Far from the Sticks,”  but our “sticks” are the place to be!

Moms camers 019

Amasra: Last Road Trip with the FamFam

Posted on by
Reply

Before the wedding, when my parents were in Turkey we took the opportunity to see as many parts of Turkey as possible.  We went to Cappadocia and saw the fairy chimneys.  Then we started on our Black Sea tour.  The first stop was Safranbolu, and the next was Amasra.

Amasra is a small town on the Black Sea,.  The industry is primarily fishing and tourism.  The trip there is pretty amazing.  You have to drive through the mountains, there are one lane bridges and high passes through the mountains when the road ends six inches from a hundred foot sheet drop with no guardrail.  While the driver has to have their eyes glued to the road the passengers can enjoy the troop.  The drive is incredibly scenic.  From the last mountain you drive up and over there is an amazing view of the town of Amasra.  AmasraIt is on a protected cove with two small peninsulas shielding it from the main sea.  Amasra is best known for its delicious fish and the “Amasra Salad”

Amasra 130

A mix of lettuce, arugula, green onions, green garlic shoots, dill, radishes, parsley, pickled beets, carrots and some other delicious and spicy additions.

Amasra2

We were there in the off season so it was nice and quiet.  We were just there to enjoy the sights and the fish.  What was interesting was that people were trying to pick us up.  There were some older women waiting on the streets, and when we parked the car they raced up to us, competing over offering us rooms at their pensions or homes.

Amasra3

We ended up staying in a hotel right on the water.  The pensions offered by the women who were cruising us were well priced and safe, but not on the water.  We were only there for one night and so we wanted to be able to appreciate the sea.

Amasra5

We had a fantastic time and it was a lovely trip with my parents.  We headed back to Ankara the next day to see some of the local sites and get ready for the Turkish wedding.

Safranbolu

Posted on by
1

While my parents were here they wanted to head up north as well.  My mom did not want to make plans or reservations, just to play the adventure by ear.  So one day we hopped in the car and drove north towards the Black Sea.  We stopped in Safranbolu, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, known for its well preserved Ottoman-era houses and architecture.

TR Adventures and Wedding 009 We had a lovely time.  We stopped and had a bite to eat at small cafe and then explored town. Yes, in this photo I am on the phone.  I had checked for local hotels and was calling to see if there was room for the night.

IMG_0466

And there was!  We stayed at Mehves Hanim Konagi, it was a lovely old Ottoman Style house, wonderfully refurbished. The proprietor was great.  Since it was just my parents and me we thought we could share a large room.  However, since there was no room with 3 beds (only cots for children) she gave us two rooms for the price of one.  IMG_0471

Later we hiked all around town.  There is a large covered pazar which sells all kinds of goods.  Above the city on a hill there is a small park.  For a lira admission you can go in and see a panoramic view of the whole town.  Up on the far side you may be able to see a large yellow building.  That is a restored Ottoman mansion, which is now a museum.TR Adventures and Wedding 013

The museum hosts photos and examples of Safranbolu’s history and culture, though all the explanations are in Turkish.  It also has a gallery of local women’s art work.

After exploring Safranbolu a little morn the next morning we headed off in the morning to the next town on our list.  While it was not too far on the map, it took us longer to reach Amasra than we had thought.  Between the construction, the one-lane bridges and the mountain passes without guardrails it was an exciting drive.   More on that later.