Back to Içmeler

I have spent most or part of the summer in Içmeler since 2009. When we moved back to the US in 2015 we didn’t go to Içmeler that summer. I have missed it more than I realized. It has also changed quite a bit. Between the “attempted” coup, the bombing in the Istanbul Airport in 2016 and the rate of inflation, the tourism rate is down significantly. We can see the results in the community here, and the business that are, and no longer there.

What I have been enjoying the most is watching Kayra absorb the language and the culture. What I have appreciated the most, is watching his grandparents interact with him, and respect the differences in which we have been raising him. For example Turkish folks kiss and hug babies. This means waiters kiss his cheeks and touch his face, strangers will stroke his face and kiss his hands, teenagers will pick him up and play with him. We have been raising Kayra with bodily autonomy, meaning we ask him if he wants kisses and hugs, and if he says no we respect that. While it is hard for them to not smother him in kisses and hugs, but they do ask, and listen to him, at least 70% of the time. It’s a start.

Return to Ankara

It has been four years since I left Turkey. I lived there for most of my (young) adult life, from 24 to 30. I absorbed much of how I live my life from that time, learning to move more slowly, savor time, cook with the seasons, avoid waste and over consumption. I learned the language and culture, which means my son can grow up in a bilingual and bicultural household.

We speak Turkish at home to Kayra, and I cook Turkish meals often, but this first week in Ankara has been a whirl wind of newness for him. Rather than the normal vocabulary of daily life, he has been immersed in Turkish. I can practically see his head spinning to absorb it all. He is learning to code switch, as his grandmother and great aunt do not speak English, he notices and responds to them only in Turkish. He is learning tens of words each day and hundreds each week, it seems. I love to watch his amazement and wonder. The first time he heard the ezan, or call to prayer, reverberate off the hills and buildings in Ankara he looked at me and asked “bu ne? (What’s that?) The camii, I said. He repeated it two or three times, rolling it around his mouth, such a new word, such a new sound.

We were only in Ankara for a week. He met his extended family, and I was able to visit my old friends with him, some of my chosen Ankara family. We went to Kuğulu Park and visited the swans. We listed to the amca (uncle) playing the accordion for tips in the park, wearing Apple ear pods, of course the juxtaposition of old and new in Turkey is always there. We walked by my friend Terry’s old house and I practically stopped in for tea, so strong are the memories of love and adventure with friends.

Chasing pigeons in Kuğulu Park

The city I grew up in has grown, and shrunk, the politics have change, there has been a coup, there is an undercurrent that I can’t quite figure out. Many things were different, but many are still the same. Just like me. I came to Turkey as a young woman, fell in love with the land and people, found friends, lost family, and generally became an adult. The woman that came back to Turkey this summer is not the same woman that left four years ago. I have grown, developed, discovered a career I love and an ambition I didn’t know I had. I got pregnant, and birthed a child, I am stronger and braver and more full of love than I ever knew I could be. I am glad I left, it was the right time for us and allowed our life, personal and professional, to flourish in a way they would never had here. However, I am glad to be back, for the summer.

Listening to music in the park while eating a cookie from Mado.

It’s been a while!

I had hoped to keep blogging when I moved back to the U.S.  It’s obvious that it didn’t work out. I was too absorbed in living my life, instead of being an observer, to keep writing.  Many things have happened since.  I continued working for my non-profit, my career advanced, I made new friends and found a new community.  I have lived life to the fullest in Austin, taking advantage of the weather and live music and generally had a blast! I also got pregnant, had a baby, traveled for work, and continue to take advantage of the amazing city in which I live, with one more person in tow.

And now I am back! Four years after we left Turkey, we have returned for a visit.  It has been fascinating to be back in Turkey.  It simultaneously feels the same and different. While I missed some things, in others I am reminded why we wanted to move back to to the U.S.  While I am here, I hope to have a chance to blog about it.  This is one of the things, from my time in Turkey, I have missed.

Back, I hope. A Re-introduction.

It has been more than a year since I have blogged.  I have started different posts many times, but never finished.  The last year has been exciting, fun, challenging and full of new adventures, as always.

Last year in August I started my job as a Computer Science teacher at a charter school in Austin.  While the work was incredibly fulfilling, it was also very demanding.  Not only did I have to master a new discipline (CS) but my work hours were 7am to 5 pm.  Add an hour or more on either end of the day for the commute and it made settling in a new city difficult.  Though we moved to Austin for its vibrant nightlife and music scene, I really couldn’t be a part of it.  Rising every day at 5, getting home after 6 and spending most of my weekends grading and lesson planning  did not leave much time for new Austin adventures.  However, we did have some!  We  bought a house last September and celebrated our “Houseiversary” recently.

.  house2

We also got adopted a puppy from the shelter in January.  Butterfinger is more or less resigned to the situation at this point.  He tries to engage her in play, but she is not really interested.  In her defense, at 15, she is not as energetic as she used to be.

dogs2

This summer marked our first year in Austin, and the start of our new life here, the life we wanted originally. I started work for an exciting non-profit. One that is part of the education realm, bringing educational access to students in underserved communities.  It is fulfilling in the same way teaching was, but with a work/life balance.   Since I have started my new job Bülent and I have been incredibly happy.  We are able to do all the things we looked forward to in Austin, while we were in Ankara.  We go to live music regularly, during the week and on the weekends! We go hiking and biking, swimming and exploring.

Now that we have our “new normal” I am looking forward to many more adventures.

 

 

Anniversary

I cannot believe it has been a year.  The move and changes have consumed my life, but in an amazing way.  I hope to start blogging again.  Our lives are full and rich, with new friends, renewed friends and old friends.  We now own a house, belong to a community and have exciting adventures on the horizon.  My heart bleeds for the state of the political situation in Turkey, and I am feeling relieved that we moved when we did.  More will be coming.  The adventures are part of life, and unless things change, I will always be “Far from the Sticks”, no matter where I am.

Reblog:  Published 4/18/2015

I talked about the reasons I had not been blogging, and part of it was that I could not fully express myself.  We have had plans in the works, but they have been tenuous and uncertain.  Bülent and I have been incredibly happy in Turkey.  We have had so many adventures, travelled to so many places, and met so many people.  When I first came, I was 24, young and excited.  Everyday was an adventure.  After six years in Turkey, everyday still brings joy and appreciation.  Just last week I was stopped by strangers on the street while walking in my neighborhood, invited in for coffee and had a tour of their garden.

ScreenHunter_03 Apr. 18 11.51

I have learned the language, and developed a deep understanding and appreciation of the nuances of the culture—my original goals.  In the six years we have been in Turkey we have made friends, embarked on our careers, gotten married, moved twice, received a Masters and (almost) a PhD, and celebrated a decade of being partners.  We have lost parents and grandparents, and we have loved.  We have gained a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other.

Turkey will always have our hearts, and will always be home, we have so many friends and so much family here.  We have loved our time in Turkey, but thinking about the future and our careers, we have decided it is time to move on. It is time for a new adventure.  The next couple of months will be filled with packing, details, saying goodbye and excitement.  We are moving back to the United States.

ScreenHunter_05 Apr. 18 12.11

Wait for us Austin!  We’ll be there soon!

Getting So Excited!

I am waking up everyday so excited for our new adventure.  It is getting more and more real!  I packed up most of the shipment that will be staying in Turkey (at the summer house) as well as the stuff that will be shipped to the US.  We are going to be staying with some friends in Dallas for a while which will give us time to get phones, buy a car, maybe even get Texas drivers licenses.  I have to get fingerprinted for my new school as well.  We will get all the bureaucratic things done in Dallas, and then we will go on vacation in Austin with our friends.  They were the friends we toured Texas with in 2012, and they came to visit us in Turkey last year.  I apparently have been very lax on the blogging as I did not blog about the epic international fun.  Anyway, we are incredibly excited to be moving close to our friends, Shawn was Bulent’s landlord when he was a grad student in Texas in the early 2000s.  Their bromance has lasted and deepened over the years.  I met Shawn’s wife Larinda in 2012, two years after she made and sent (to Turkey) the most beautiful shadow box with our wedding invitation and wedding photo.  I was so glad we hit it off, and so excited that we will be closer in distance!   Whee!   27 days and counting to the move! 

Getting Ready!

Oh my!  We have been paring down our belongings.  What we are going to ship is already packed! And minimal!  We have sold many of the things we will not be taking with us, the rest we will give to friends and family, or donate.  My balcony is looking bare, since the flowers have been sold or given away, but I did keep keep the mesclun and chard plants.  While Incek is far out of town, it is beautiful in the spring.  We have been taking walks and enjoying our bucolic life while it lasts. 

 

20150521_144127 (1)

We have bought our plane tickets, which was more complicated than it sounds, as we bought our tickets so we could be together, but I am going to be reimbursed by my work for my ticket.  It included several trips to HR, many calls to the purchasing office, and formal written requests.  We have also started training Butterfinger to not completely loathe the carry bag she will be squished into and then in which she will be shoved under a seat.  Poor baby.  We have already given her her summer haircut so that she can recover from the embarrassment before she is completely demoralized from the bag. 

 

20150516_185007

Our next step is to get ourselves ready for the trip.  We are going to get complete health and dental check ups before we leave.  We have really comprehensive health insurance here, and procedures are pretty inexpensive.  Wheeeeeee!    I am so excited!

Changes

I talked about the reasons I had not been blogging, and part of it was that I could not fully express myself.  We have had plans in the works, but they have been tenuous and uncertain.  Bülent and I have been incredibly happy in Turkey.  We have had so many adventures, travelled to so many places, and met so many people.  When I first came, I was 24, young and excited.  Everyday was an adventure.  After six years in Turkey, everyday still brings joy and appreciation.  Just last week I was stopped by strangers on the street while walking in my neighborhood, invited in for coffee and had a tour of their garden. 

ScreenHunter_03 Apr. 18 11.51

 

I have learned the language, and developed a deep understanding and appreciation of the nuances of the culture—my original goals.  In the six years we have been in Turkey we have made friends, embarked on our careers, gotten married, moved twice, received a Masters and (almost) a PhD, and celebrated a decade of being partners.  We have lost parents and grandparents, and we have loved.  We have gained a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other. 

 

Turkey will always have our hearts, and will always be home, we have so many friends and so much family here.  We have loved our time in Turkey, but thinking about the future and our careers, we have decided it is time to move on. It is time for a new adventure.  The next couple of months will be filled with packing, details, saying goodbye and excitement.  We are moving back to the United States.

ScreenHunter_05 Apr. 18 12.11

 
Wait for us Austin!  We’ll be there soon!

Alive?

As you may have noticed, I have not been blogging as frequently.  Or at all.  Over the last year or so I had slowed down my pace. Partially because I was busy and partially because the main bulk of my blog was travel and exploration, and after living in Turkey for five years, the adventures had slowed down.  I want to start writing again. I really appreciate being able to express myself and have a connection with my readers.  I have been thinking about it for a while, and have put off writing until I think I could make a commitment again.

My last post was about moving.  Our move had ben a big change for us.  I am now in the “sticks” again.  incek2

The herd of sheep that regularly pass in front of our building.

I can no longer walk to the grocery store, have easy access to the town center or have my community of friends.  I do have a new community of friends, but many of the friends I used to visit with on a day to day basis are back in the old neighborhood.    Day to day life has changed, basic things like cooking and errands are more difficult due to sharing a car, and not being able to walk to neighborhood shops and the pazar. 

incek

However, there are many benefits to living on the edge of town.   The air was clean all winter, the smell of coal smoke does not infiltrate our hair and clothes and the accompanying smog did not disturb us.  Our view is lovely, and faces south west, so we have had lovely sun all year, and the floor to ceiling windows have allowed enough light into our home to keep our plants alive inside since the frost hit. We have also hosted and been hosted at many more intimate gatherings with friends.  Since the restaurants and shops are more distant, we meet at friends’ homes rather than restaurants to visit. 

Things have happened, which I will tell about.

Places have been visited, which I will share.

And adventures may be coming…I will keep you posted!

Moving. Is. Torture.

The weekend after the first week of school I had to move.  I didn’t schedule it, a change in corporate housing mandated the move.  While I was trying to cement my classroom management and learn 200 students names, I was also making lists of what to pack each night.  The move was quite daunting as we could not get the key to the apartment before we moved, and we had never seen it in person. 

The apartment turned out to very nice.  Farther out than I would like, compared to my last easy to get around neighborhood, but has the benefits of the boondocks. The air is cleaner, we will not have issues with coal smoke here during the winter, there are no traffic problems, and we have a great view of undeveloped Anatolian hills. 

However, while the apartment is beautiful, it is a new building and there are some issues.  Last night, after the 7th visit from a plumber in two weeks, the toilet FIANALLY stopped leaking onto the floor  YAY!  They also turned the heat on last night, which is great because it was REALLY cold.  But now we have to turn it off because it is leaking. 

However, to put it in perspective, my friend just found out that internet is UN-INSTALLABLE in her apartment.  The pipes that lead into her apartment to allow the fiber optic to be snaked in was crushed and so there is no way to bring in the cable. 

Packing was horrendous.  I just hated it.  It feels like I just did it.  I did help my mother move our home last year.   It was a lot of work.  Even though out house is smaller, it still was a lot of work.  Unpacking is a little better.  Though at one point I got so visibly overwhelmed by the amount of work ahead, Bulent broke down all the boxes we had unpacked and removed them from the apartment. It helped significantly.  Actually he turned Defcon 1 to something more like mild craziness.   A miracle worker. 

As of now, we are mostly all set.  There are some paintings I have been unable to hang because the walls are made of concrete.  But that is just a challenge.  It is coming!

UPDATE: I just served coffee to a few men in my house.  They have been working for over an hour on the heating.  Things are looking up.  

UPDATE 2: The man, who says that my eyes are like those of the people he met in Kosovo when he was a soldier in NATO, fixed my heaters and bleed out the air from the system.