Morphing Into My Mother

It started several years ago, when I began working with children. Occasionally I would hear my mother. And realize, no, that was me. Then later when I began to work in a high school, my mother really came out. A few times I sounded so much like my mother that I turned around to make sure she was not behind me. I believe that was when I used the phrase, ” I am not Asking you…” I KNOW! But really, come on, hormonal high schoolers sometimes (always) need firmness. This is not a issue, that I am turning into my mother. I like her. I love her too, she is my mother. But I LIKE her as well, I appreciate who she is as a person, she is my confidante and friend. So when I occasionally heard her voice coming out of my mouth I was not horrified. But NOW I am. I am starting to sleep like her. Which means not really. What the HELL is up with this shit?!? Bülent and I go to bed, and Bülent goes to sleep. And I lay there, sometimes for hours. I often fall asleep just as the morning call to prayer starts. I love him, but I really don’t feel the need to watch him sleeping for hours each night. Looking at him lying there so peacefully just irritates me. It just seems smug. Or rather snug.