I am having Potty-ish. As many readers know (all 5) I no longer have a laptop and have been spending copious amounts of time in Internet cafes. While this has made me appreciate my laptop even more than İ already did–İt has also caused me to ponder the bathroom.

I know the correlation is weak, Internet and toılets, but hear me out. The Internet cafe we patronize has the most functional keyboards and stronger air conditioning than any of the others in town. However, as İ found out the other day, it is sorely lacking in the bathroom department. As has already been over shared–İ have İBS. This means sometimes İ have to USE the bathroom in less than a dainty way. İ have already learned to overcome many challenges, such as the shame of using the bathroom several times–or the FEAR that İ might be overheard. Fuck it. İ know everyone does the same thing—maybe not as frequently, but that just means İ am better at it for having more practice! However the gross-out factor is not one İ can overlook. By no means am İ a prissy, picky pottier. İ go places others will not, if need be and İ have tissues with me İ will go behind bushes. Nature is way cleaner than many gas stations. İ don`t even have any issues with the ”Old Fasioned” toilets here. However- this bathroom reeks of urine, the toilet is stained and has no seat and there is NO TOILET PAPER…EVER. The ”ish” are too many and İ had to search out alternative means. Thankfully the Turkish are much more understanding about the need to use the bathroom and pretty much every hotel or restaurant will let you use theirs without purchase. Bülent likes to only use 4 star hotels when we are out and about which leads to many high class pit stops. All of this made me ponder bathroom-ish.

For example when you are stranded without toilet paper–What do you do??. Well in response to that, I try to always have at least a tissue or two in my purse. If no tissue and desperate, use the inside of the empty roll–better than nothing. Other related ish–the 5 second light. İn Turkey electricity is MUCH more expensive than in the States. This has resulted in some very Eco-friendly solutions. Most bathrooms have motion sensor lights. This is wonderful, it saves money and electricity. However, some people are either trying to save too much money or have no idea how long it takes to pee. İ was in this situation just today. İ walk in to the bathroom. Light comes on. Good. İ walk into the stall, the light comes on. Good. İ sit down, the light turns off. Not good. When İ was peeing it was like İ was at football game leading the wave. Every 5 seconds İ fling my hands up in the air to activate the sensor after being plunged into darkness. What is even more fun is sometimes your hands do not reach up far enough to activate the sensor and you have to just finish up in the dark. Then when you stand up, the light is like…Oh, you`re still here? İ realize this is way more potty talk than many of you will want to read. But come on, in the first sentence İ reported İ had potty-ish. You KNEW I was not going to talk about food or give a recipe. Or at least you hoped.