Two Years!

Today is my second wedding anniversary.  And the first one Bülent and I have celebrated together!  While last year it felt like a surprise that I had been married for a whole year, this year it doesn’t.  Not in a bad way but in a good way.  This year we have dealt with a lot of things, cancer, chemo, death and despair, and Bülent has been there through everything.  He supported me in every way he could, even when when I took a leave of absence from my job to spend time with my dad  and flew 5000 miles away—for 6 months.

I am very lucky to have a partner as wonderful as he is.  I still feel like  I did last year, ecstatic to have a BFF and a lover wrapped up into one.  But even luckier this year, because I know when things get tough, things are still good.

JBNVF_7126

Newly Wed? Yes. Baby? No.

This summer I got married.  Somehow it was not shocking to my friends or family.  Maybe that was because we had been together for five years, and had been engaged for one and a half.


I would have been happy to go along in our engaged way for many a year, but Bulent, in his infinite wisdom, encouraged me to marry him sooner rather than later.  I am so glad he convinced me.  Being married (to him) is fantastic.  I don’t know why.   We were in love before, but somehow marriage makes it all fresh and dewy and wonderful.

Now that we are married, everyone seems to be asking us the same question.  When are you having babies? What is interesting is that my family, and his family are not pressuring us—actually they don’t really mention it.  It is our co-workers, our dentist, the people at the dog park and various random other people we barely know at all that are trying to convince us to have children sooner than later.    I was actually told—by a casual acquaintance—that my life has no meaning because I don’t have children.  Bullshit.

Every time I wear a loose shirt or tunic at work people ask me if I am pregnant.  Sometimes I tell them yes, just to freak them out.  Though in their defense, there are so many pregnant teachers at work it looks contagious.

I am also confused by these strangers who are pressuring me to have children.  What is up with that?  What’s their angle? What will they gain from it?   Trust me, if I know your dog’s name but not yours, we probably won’t be hanging out.

Has anyone else noticed this?  Once you get married people think your biological clock becomes a bomb and people nearby try to diffuse it so you don’t explode.  Are they afraid they are in danger?

A lot of my friends, my age and older,  have kids.  They are wonderful and fantastic and I love them.  Kids are great, but  we are not there yet.  We are not aboard the baby train.  Though, practice makes perfect and I am not going to lie and say we don’t enjoy the practice.

Do We “Do” Christmas?

I was at a Christmas party the other day and someone was very curious about whether or not we “did” Christmas.  Living in a Islamic country with a Muslim husband I suppose it was a valid question.  The thing is, religion was/is never an issue for us.  My husband is not devout, more spiritual than religious, and I am not religious or spiritual.  I celebrate Christmas as a cultural custom and a fun holiday rather than a religious exercise.

NovDec 209 028

I feel lucky that our religious differences (he believes and I do not) were never an issue for our relationship.  I know that is not true for everyone.  I have several friends who converted to Islam as it would have been an issue for the marriage and children.  Their experiences vary from a conversion simply for peace of mind for family members to an uneasy balance between Christmas and the Turkish “New Year” holiday which includes presents and decorated trees.

I also have many friends who married Turkish men who have not converted.  These friends celebrate ALL the holidays, their own religious holidays as well as the Islamic ones.     I also have friends who married regardless of the issue, and while they have no problem with it, it is an issue for their families.

One time I had someone ask me if it was a problem for my parents that my boyfriend (at the time) was a Muslim.   I was shocked that a person who was not intimately involved in my life thought it was appropriate to ask me personal questions about my relationship at all—let alone such as ridiculous one.  I told her she should focus on her own daughter who had bigger issues in her own relationship.  (Oh the horror!  Her daughter was dating a Yankees fan rather than a Red Sox fan. )

So yes.  We “do” Christmas.  We decorate a tree, exchange presents, eat fattening foods.  We also celebrate the New Year by giving presents to his family.  We have found a nice balance of his customs and mine rather than his religion and mine.

And for the larger issue at hand—NO he does not cheer for the Yankees.

Negligent Blogger Backlog…

Since I have been back in NH I have been running around like crazy.  I have been seeing friends, cleaning and polishing the house along with all the regular pre-wedding stuff.  A quick run down…

Bacon.  Pork.  Pork chops, pork loin, eggs and bacon, BLTs, etc.

The first morning I was in the States I went out for breakfast with a friend.  BACON!!!

023

Also my mom makes the BEST dirty vodka martinis! I have been practicing since I have been home.  Practice makes perfect, and also is tasty!

029

Bachelorette party in New York with my aunt and cousins!

099

I also took this opportunity to stock up on ridiculously expensive make-up for my wedding.  ‘

BT DUB—Totally worth it!

 

104

And a bridal shower.   I can’t carry much back with me to Turkey so my friends organized a lingerie bridal shower.  I will be the best dressed women who has ever gone to bed.

060

And then on July 24th, I got married!

wedding

Bulent’s parents are in town for a week, so I will try to update on the upcoming New England adventures.