Thursday night my father died. We were so stunned and exhausted that we came home, had a drink and went to bed. It took us a long time to go to sleep. I know this because I slept with my mom that night. Neither one of us wanted to sleep by ourselves.
Friday we woke up, and the sun was still shining, and my father was still dead. I made pea soup, called my husband, researched how to submit obituaries and managed not to die of sadness.
Saturday I woke up, and the sun was still shining, and my father was still dead. It helped to know that my husband was coming in Saturday night. My brother’s girlfriend is amazing. She was (and is) so helpful. She was at the hospital all afternoon on Thursday, brought sandwiches, and helped advocate for my father. She drove down to Boston and picked up my husband from the Boston airport at 11:30 PM and then drove 2 hours north to our home.
I have felt so supported by my family and friends, people sending food and calling. Many of my friends emailed me such wonderful things. One friend tried to move heaven and earth to get food and flowers delivered to my remote home. Another went through my closet finding clothes I asked to be sent to the States with Bülent. The last few days have been extremely difficult, but with the help of friends and family it has been, maybe not less painful, but a more supported journey.
So sorry for your loss. Basin Sag olsun. My wife just lost her father on the day before New Years Eve and it was so hard. It still is, of course. I’m so glad we were here in Turkey for it, because we’ve been able to be there for her mom, but I can’t imagine losing one of my own parents when I’m here. Stay strong.
There definitely is that feeling of realization that even though you feel the world is forever changed, life still goes on. However, that is what ultimately helps and heals you. Thank goodness for wonderful friends and family! I’m with my mom’s family right now and I’m grateful that they always make me feel closer to her, or at least less alone in missing her. xx
Hi Julia, I cried reading this post. I have so many memories from my childhood with your family, and I only remember your father as fiercely intelligent, humor-full, and friendly. He also had one of the most warm and comforting voices I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry for your, and your family’s, loss.
❤ ❤ ❤
Another beautifully written post, even in this time of great sorrow. Your “delivery” should arrive tomorrow. Hopefully, it will come before or after the services. Love to you and the family.
you are in so many thoughts and prayers ….love you
You are an amazing woman, a product of wonderful parents and your own dedication to sucess. I wish I could be there with you to bring comfort in whatever way I might. I’m sending all my love and well wishes for you, Elliot and your Mom.
Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. I fell off the grid abit, to focus on my self, my family and some healing. I appreciate your support very much.
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