Yesterday, something horrible happened. Truly frightening. I got up and went to the bathroom, approached the toilet, and realized, the bath mat was soaking. You know, the one that hugs the potty, that one. I was at a severe disadvantage, having already taken out my contacts. It was water—thank goodness. But we had no idea where it was coming from. The wasn’t overflowing, we could see no leaking. So after scrubbing my feet, I ran up stairs to the other bathroom. After I flushed, I heard it. The noise that strikes fear into the heart of any one who appreciates indoor plumbing. “The Gurgle.” There was a gurgle, a loud one. Then water started seeping out from around the bottom of the downstairs toilet. And then the plumber became our BFF. I may or may not have offered him my first born child.